FORSAKENED

4months.

2010-03-04T05:19:00.000-08:00

im in my 17th week of pregnancy.
hope everything's alright.
cant wait to see my lil one
in my next appointment.

宝贝，对不起

2010-01-02T05:19:00.000-08:00

此时的我，虽然还无法作个好妈妈。但希望以后的每一天我能慢慢做到最好给我这宝宝。
对不起，妈妈亏欠你太多了。只要我不怕苦，再多坎坷他也会陪我到最后。
希望老天能给与我勇气坚强地面对和克服以后的种种难题，让我用我的最好。。
好好补偿这孩子。
希望，有一天。我也能无私和大爱的扛起着一个当妈妈的责任。

加厚

2009-12-12T22:18:00.000-08:00

new life

2009-12-04T10:03:00.001-08:00

i have stepped into a new phrase of life
which reqires me to start from scratch
and work my way towards a new future.
a new family of my own,
for me to contribute to other than my original one.
its gonna be a long way ahead
and im sure there are many obstacles to face
but i just know it in my heart
that this is the new start that is given to me
to have a brand new start
and the path to another ending of my fairytale.
the princess is no longer along and will never be anymore,
for she has her loveable daddy dino and baby dino
who'll be with her till the end.

im finally happy, for once and for all.
i finally moved from a lonely world
to a world with laughter and happiness.
just hoping that what future has in hold for me
will turn out right.
=)

chickenpox

2009-09-23T17:34:00.000-07:00

all the bad and negative stuff
just seem to be crashing straight in my direction,
and. RIGHT IN MY FREAKIN FACE!
as if that aint enough, im down with chickenpox.
damn.
is it just unluckiness or what?!
forget it, anyway i had nothing to begin with
and am losin nothing now either.
so im still in square 1 same like the past.
as for someone who i thought i really
give a damn to, he thinks i don't give anything
a damn about our r/s so far except chopping
him like a carrot. IM SPEECHLESS.
aint gonna make any explanations
for undone accusations. so yea, to hell with everything.
so guess it has a good thing about it too?

I'VE REACH THE DOWNRIGHT BOTTOM,
THINGS CAN'T GET ANY WORSER!

updates

2009-07-17T01:53:00.000-07:00

hmms. i left the tormenting relationship.
relieved.
things will take a turn for the better
in fact leaving him has made it better already.
so.. life will resume quite soon totally by the end
of this post.
nothings better den making this crucial decision
and the best part of it,
i dont even feel any least bit of negative emotions
neither did i even miss him for a teeny weeny bit.
and i know, im right.

CAUSE... IM FINALLY SMILING, AGAIN-

zz

2009-06-07T02:17:00.000-07:00

im back in skating again.
dono if its the right decision.
well, i'll just follow the path my foot leads me to.
it has always been this case..

is it a dream or is it real?
let time decide and let colours show.
30.05.2009

my time?

2009-05-29T18:20:00.000-07:00

is my time gonna be back?
im back on meth.
hopefully i'll return to the past..
few more kilos to go..

OBESITY

2009-02-05T15:11:00.000-08:00

FATFATFAT!
i freaking ballooned to 80kg!
the overeating is too much.
gotta trim away all the fats!
diet starts now!
18kg to perfection,
then i shall return.
METAMORPHOSIS*

adios~

2009-01-19T09:17:00.000-08:00

time passes really fast..
within 18hours i'll be bidding
this city of angels,
my newfound serenity
back to the world of chaos.
can't bear to leave this temporarily
peace thats so hard to come by.
i hate struggling everyday
to resist temptations
and staying outta trouble.
i've really been thinking
of leaving the stressful life
in sg and seek refuge here in thailand.
yet, easily said than done,
but after i return clear up
the mess accumulated so far,
i'll be most willing to pack up
and lead a new life here.
new year is coming,
i hope everything will turn out alright.
yet i know for sure,
my feet will lead me back to gelang.

2009-01-13T09:01:00.000-08:00

im 19 already..
this year i chose to spend it away

from the hypocritical world in sg.

glad to say i made the right decision,

spending time here rejuvenates me

and makes me discover the beauty

i used to see in my surroundings.

spending afternoons watching dvd

and playing with the innocent baby

gorging with my beloved lady.

IT'S SO ENOUGH ALREADY, IM HAPPY FINALLY.

today's the 6th day im here and guess what!

i gained 8kg already.

hahahaha.

as for my birthday i went to RCA

with nancy and party.

its great, just her and me.

the next day we went SPP to shop,

and got tattoos.

but currently its like kinda overworked.

hope it doesnt turns out nasty

as it is on my forearm.

i gotten braces as well, cosmetical ones.

love it so much!

i'll be enjoying my stay here

as much happiness is brought to my

long forsakened soul..

slowly, i thought i felt a heartbeat-

THAILAND

2009-01-06T08:58:00.000-08:00

woo~

just reached bangkok today..

wanna escape from the reality in sg..

at least it feels "messless" here..

cant possibly mess up here..

2weeks stay..

get fat period..

update

2008-11-05T11:59:00.000-08:00

well,

i gained 12kg within 1month.

WTF.

When will i be skinny again?

CRISIS

2008-05-10T14:11:00.000-07:00

im beginning to believe

the saying that on the year

that u're 18 in life,

its either gonna rawk

if not it'll suck.

i think mine's the negative one.

so many things happened

since the start of 2008.

the departures of friends,

the arrival of severe bullemia

and even financial crisis

that i never experienced before.

dad and mum's scrooging

on the allowance

and im so pressurized

that i think im suffocating.

whenever i ask for money

even for food,

they'll hesistate.

sighs.

i just got this gut feeling

that there's more to come

for the rest of this pathetix year.

i hope im not that accurate.

$$$$$$$$$$$$$

-BLANK-

2008-05-06T07:08:00.000-07:00

been piling on my weight

and tipping way off the scale.

its less than 1month to june

and im so looking forward

to my reunion with nancy.

i missed her so!

maybe i'll even be in time

to welcome her baby to this world.

i could even vividly hear

the laughters that we're gonna

share in the near future,

and i could also see the fun

we're gonna have too.

my one and only blood

she meant so much.

i planned for a 1month stay

shall work hard to save up.

thailand, here i come!

update

2008-04-15T13:12:00.000-07:00

been slacking at home

almost everyday.

when will i get back the

life i used to have?

the confidence and all..

shopping for pretty clothes

clubbing and grooving

being surrounded by friends

showered by attention.

YIKES!

if i dont lose these extra pounds

im sure to be stuck in misery!

i miss being THIN and attractive!

SELF-DESTRUCTION

2008-04-07T13:08:00.000-07:00

recent days i started

being wierd.

i dont control my appetite anymore

yet i keep gorging on food.

there's many things on my mind

yet i'd rather throw them aside.

im a total BLANK now.

will there be anyone

who'll bring sparks back to my life?

will there be something

that will resurruct me,

back into the girl i used to be?

ROTTING

2008-04-01T10:39:00.000-07:00

been rotting at home

for almost a month already.

been lying on the sofa

and gorging on food daily.

getting fatter and fatter

and am rotting!

wondering how can i shed

the 10kg that i have put on

during this period of time.

shall find something to do

before i rot into a pile of oil.

life is unpredictable.

once, everything WAS perfect.

then, it turned upside down.

updates

2008-03-17T20:45:00.000-07:00

hmms.

during the unbearable days

i did a damn foolish thing.

10th-11th MARCH 2008

me, tan meixuan

just lost my mind.

stayed w the junkies

and ahboy at his place.

doing dope daily, E and K.

But even not reporting

to my family at all,

leaving them to worry.

mum was in malaysia

and dad's gotten left at home

all on his own.

When i didn't come back

he couldn't sleep at all.

i called to tell him i had no face

to go home as im back to drugs.

dad just said he had packed

my ultra messy room for me

and asked me to come back.

When im back

he even had food ready for me

afraid that i got hungry outside.

He didn't even reprimand me

but gentle as usual forever.

Then in my heart,

i told myself.

How could u bear to hurt

this man that loved u so much?!

a dad who forgives everything

that i've done wrong

and just hope that i change

for the better.

a mum who loves me

in her own quiet way.

i am actually very LOVED,

but yet i was blinded

by friends and drugs.

Now that i've seen through

their hardship.

i discovered that all these while,

i've been living live my way.

but i forgot, i am not just me.

i'm someone's daughter,

i don't just have my responsibility

to make myself happy.

i still have a daughter's responsibility

to make my folks happy and contented.

BEGINNING TO SLOWLY WAKE UP

AND SLOWLY GET THINGS RIGHT.

DOWN*

2008-02-23T17:51:00.000-08:00

it's been the low tide

since the starting of february.

first it was jeremy,

on the 12th i recieved news

that his mum turned him

in for his heroin habits.

on the 14th i recieved news

that my ex, yaoming

was involved in an accident

and passed away.

mark's going in soon,

and i broke off with sitoh.

so many things happened

at a time that i couldn't

stand the pressure

that i kept eating non-stop.

with so many people

leaving my life,

there seems to be no-one

by my side already.

everything seems so meaningless

and being fat doesn't help

to the situation at all!

my mind seems to be blank

and i can't think of anything

i wanna do except doping.

oh god!

i've fallen once and once again,

just pardon me from all this pain!

i wanna stand up again.

hope to smile liike the past soon.

CHINESE NEW YEAR

2008-02-10T11:05:00.000-08:00

Its the chinese new year now,

im just back from malaysia.

Spent 4days of indulgence

with my family and relatives.

soft drinks, new year biscuits

ba kwas and mummy's cooking

made me eating every minute

im awake and i mean

NONSTOP!!!

So, due to the all the gorging

and thanks to being a sucker

for food...

i've lost control of my appetite

and gained tons of weight!

My double chin is coming out

and my arms, thighs and waist

is being surrounded by fats!

I feel so jiggly and wobbly,

so heavy and clumsy.

Regretted letting the tempting

food take control of my mind

and giving in.

im gonna stop eating

and start shedding the pounds

till im as slim as the past.

Collected around near to 500bucks

from the red packets

and im gonna use them

buying more clothes

when i've sucessfully slimed down.

Hopefully i won't spend them

on drugs before i buy any clothes.

Mummy's birthday is celebrated

in malaysia with a chocolate cake

which no doubt i've also sinned with.

OH MY OH MY!

HOW CAN I.. HOW CAN I?!

Its gonna be a tough one

attempting to shed those pounds.

THE BIG 1-8 FOR MISSY JINX`

2008-01-13T06:22:00.000-08:00

My supposingly-should-be

exciting+special 18th birthday

that i have anticipated for so long

is actually.. NOTHING!

i don't feel special vibes

or sensations..

i don't even feel different at all!

was it because i started

everything too early

and used up my surprises

too fast?

smoking before im 18.

drinking before im 18.

clubbing before im 18.

i even did drugs before 18.

now its just no difference

only that i can take a liscence.

that's all.

WTF*

The BIG 1-8 isn't as BIG

as i imagined afterall..

-.-"

self destruction

2007-12-21T06:59:00.000-08:00

after a few months

of isolation..

i went back into action

back into the warm darkness

i was so familar with.

the hole im struggling

to get out

yet constantly jumping in.

back into drugs

ecstasy used to be

something i didn't have

any desire to abuse

and now..

im using it almost daily.

jabbing is also something

i stopped for 2 years

but i went back to it again.

used to be MIA

in nightlife

and now im clubbing daily.

what's wrong with me?

was it due to lack of ice?

or was it due to emptiness?

or even boredom?

i got news yesterday

that i passed my N'Levels!

never in my wildest dreams

did i thought i will pass.

because i only took 2 papers

and it takes 3 to pass!

now im really confused..

and guys are swarming into

my life in a rate that

i can't even have any time

to consider about my feelings.

someone help me!

why am i never happy?

ROTTING-

2007-12-03T13:26:00.000-08:00

been very bored recently..

leading life aimlessly.

hours passing without numbers

days to months.

its time i found something

to focus on

before i start becoming senile.

only if life was more interesting.

TRASH

2007-11-14T00:22:00.000-08:00

been getting kinda wasted

these days..

nothing much to do

and with too much spare time

and too little attention.

The monster begins

creeping back to me.

memoirs of the past

starts haunting me

and the pain comes crashing down.

with no directions..

with no idea of where to go

and what to do.

real soon..

i'll dissolve into a pile

of dust.

*show me some light.

for i've been living

ths darkness for far too long.*

-EMO-

STEEL & INK

2007-10-22T23:06:00.000-07:00

im getting myself tattooed again!

went to elson's place in CCK

and we kinda used 2 hours

to plan for my tattoo.

he doodled on me

using markers and did

some amendments due to

lil miss fussy here.

LOL.

then i thought that i was

happy with the design

and we did the contours.

5th november

will be my next session.

THIS TATTOO WILL ROCK!

i know..

im'ma bad bad girl.

THE LAST HEARTACHE

2007-10-11T01:32:00.000-07:00

it was the day..

my heart stopped beating..

the last piece of hope that

im clinging on with all

my might has snapped.

or rather being sliced by

his cruelity.

he had been calling me

for the past few days.

and those phonecalls

those words of concern

gave me false hope.

told me he kept our pics

told me he broke up with her.

i decided to take a chance

and work for my own happiness.

as i knew he was the one

i really wanted.

i ask him if we could be

back together again.

he said that it was me

who told him to be realistic

and we had bleak future

why is it that i am being

so naive now?

i told him i regretted

letting the distance affect us.

i told him i wanted

to be back together again.

i told him nobody ever took

his place in my heart.

he crashed my soul by telling me

to stop being naive

and face the reality.

i told him i wanted to be silly

for once.

i told him to just give

us both a chance.

i told him to let us

stick together till the end

and make our future possible

using our own hands.

he said that its impossible.

i told him that im taking

a gamble with my

already brokened heart

as the bet just to win

our future that we once

both talked and dreamed

about together

under the blanket.

he said he regretted calling me

he said that with such a cold

voice that it made me

wonder if it was really

the man i loved with all my might.

the man who used to

whisper sweet nothing into my ears.

the man who told me

we'll stick together till the end.

the man who showered me with love.

the man who keeps me in

that special place in his heart.

where did he go?

he's changed.

into a total stranger

into a cold blooded person

who can hear me cry

and beg for a chance

to let the dream

we've made come true.

-without even sounding concerned-

i guess..

its really the end this time

FOR GOOD.

there it goes..

the love of my life.

i'm the dumbest bitch

in the whole universe.

LOVE

really makes people stupid.

And

i will only be silly for once.

CHAOS

2007-10-10T10:20:00.000-07:00

back on ICE..

family problem..

skipped N levels exams..

heartbrokened..

hell is breaking.

workaholic

2007-10-01T13:31:00.000-07:00

BAHHS!

im working everyday in gelang.

prostitute?

obviously no.

cashier for some illegal gambling places.

im beginning to love this place.

nice peeps, nice food.

hope everything will get better.

lalalala~

$$$$

CLOSE SHAVE!

2007-09-17T07:25:00.000-07:00

phew!

went to DRAGONFLY again

last night with peggy and levyne.

halved an Ecstasy with levyne

and took 2 Erimin-5s.

enjoyed my night alot

someone opened a bottle

for me..

daddy's friend, ahboon's friend.

roy, the cutie that i've been

aiming danced and got cheeky

with me.

AWW!

Sly talked to me!!!

took many gorgeous pics..

it was supposed to be a lovely night..

but guess what?

the waiter took my handbag

to the lost and found counter

as no one was at our seat.

by right they have to check

the items inside.

and i had 10 Erimin-5 tablets

in my bag.

they called the police

and i managed to deny

that they were not mine

because my bag was left there

for quite some time

and there is a high possibility

of someone putting those in.

good thing..

they let me off..

bad thing..

THEY SEIZED MY STUFF!

sobbs.

painpain~

PERFECTION?

2007-09-14T08:43:00.000-07:00

humans..

always trying to attain perfection.

but is there really perfection?

more money, nicer clothes

bigger eyes, smaller waists?

all these made up the

happy life everyone wanted.

but while trying to get perfection

which

we thought will make us happy.

we get ourselves unhappy

during the impossible process.

why can't we be borned contented?

for me..

i was never contented..

on top of materials.

i wanted more care and concern

more attention and LOVE.

but when i don't?

i wanted more drugs..

more Ecstasies, more Ketamine

more Dormicums, more Erimin-5s

more Herion, more Ice.

insatiable appetite for them..

i am a freakish freak in a normal world.

DRAGONFLY-

2007-09-10T21:51:00.000-07:00

woots!

finally..

back into the warm

arms of nightlife again!

after being slimmer

and literally prettier..

i went to DRAGONFLY

with peggy, jazz

and saw stone there.

after i became slimmer

and literally prettier..

somehow it was different

from the past..

as usual i admired my

William Scorpion..

but

guys were swarming to me!

took Ecstasy and Ketamine

while i was inside.

I DANCED THE NIGHT AWAY!

woo~

my moves were perfect

my body was flexible.

i danced like i never had

ever done before.

all eyes were on me

and there was even

hunky dude profesional

dancer who complimented it!

wow~

it was MY night. <3

CONFLICTS

2007-09-06T12:41:00.000-07:00

What a day!

had a heated argument

with dad around evening time.

its so terrible

until i left the house

with the intention of not returning.

went to a staircase

and intoxicate myself

with everything that i have.

peggy joined me

and i was sobbing.

so tired of life

dragging everyday awaiting death.

guess what?

crow sprung a surprise appearance

and i was shocked yet touched.

we kinda rekindled

but who knows what will

happen next ya?

tiring day~

happy family= ???

BORED-

2007-09-01T04:43:00.000-07:00

hmms.

here to update my blog.

life's been going on

in a straight line.

BOREDOM KILLS.

i feel so empty.

somehow..

there's a huge hole

in me that can't be filled.

SUFFERINGS

2007-08-15T14:46:00.000-07:00

i've relieved myself

of all the sufferings..

the last bit of feelings

for him is gone.

i am free.

of all pain.

of all misery.

He's nothing to me now.

due to what he has done.

thanks for the last pain

u gave me.

for it freed me

from all torture.

I HATE U NOW!

haunting

2007-08-09T12:02:00.000-07:00

torturing memories are haunting me

through these few months..

walking everywhere we once

set foot there together..

now all i see are invisible footprints

of u and me.

words can't describe

how its all affecting me.

i always tell myself..

its all in my mind.

and if i dont think

i wont get hurt.

but did anyone know?

u're always on my mind.

u're already a part of me

bonded to my heart and soul.

i still do miss u..

how to prove that?

i dreamt of u last night.

it was a happy dream

but i woke up and cried.

because, its just a dream.

OVERDOSED

2007-07-22T12:32:00.000-07:00

finally..

the drug queen

is finally overdosed after

4 years in the drug circle.

popped 2 white Ecstasy

Date: 21/07/2007

Location: Gelang Lor16. Hotel81

Time: 12:45am

Me, rusty and crystal.

in room202.

After i took 2 pills

i literally tripped into

the illusion.

No doubt it was the greatest time

i had.

Illusions and Hallucinations.

My vision was distorted

in many ways.

cartoonised rusty when he danced.

and he's really the greatest dancer

i've ever seen in my whole life.

Seeing tiled versions of everyone's face.

Spinning 3D images

all over the room.

The highest high i ever got

through illeagal chemical abuse!

Had a very very VERY great time

till 1plus in the afternoon.

Even in the quietness of the cab

i can still distinctively hear

very loud techno blasting

in my ears.

Reached home at 2pm..

i was purging my guts out

and

the hallucinating vision

and hallucinated hearing

stayed with me till 7pm!

Then.

My limbs got numb

and became weak.

My breathing became difficult

like my lungs were being compressed.

Then.

The feeling.

IM LOSING IT!

Losing my control

of the game i am so

professional in playing.

I SWEAR i can hear the bells

of heaven ringing in my head.

HOLY SHIT.

till around 9plus in the night

i can't take it anymore

and went to Changi General Hospital

with dad.

Gotten a jab on my thighs

to stop the nausea.

A Heartbeat graph taken.

Lungs X-ray.

A tube of tainted blood

to check for damaged muscles

from my arms.

2 pills of relaxants

for me to relax my tensed

and sesitive psychology.

Took a nap on the observation

ward for 2 hours and went home

with anti-nausea

and paracetemol pills.

Tooked a nap

ate a few meals

and am feeling better now.

thank god for not taking me away.

a chance to repent.

flooded by memories

2007-07-19T04:19:00.000-07:00

chewing the chocolate

from a pink wrapper.

SORINI.

A chocolate that i didn't enjoy

eating in the past..

it was his favourite..

As the brown bitter-sweet

substance melts in my mouth..

slowly..

reminds me of a painful memory

that i have never left behind..

Me and Him.

what we used to be

what we went through.

Every detail every picture

is still fresh in my mind.

Plucked up my courage

called him and told him

all my thoughts from deep within.

Only a question in mind..

"is its considered as the past?"

or..

is it still.. still.. on?

to me..

i know.. it has not..

but to him?

tomorrow shall be the answer.

while the last bit of chocolate

in my mouth melting..

i pinned on my last bit of hope.

LIFE?

2007-07-15T22:58:00.001-07:00

what exactly is life?

is life all about

education, career & marriage?

then eternal bliss and happiness

will come?

to me life doesnt turn out that way..

to me..

life is all about

drugs, alcohol, sex

lies and deceptions

scars, blood & tears

misery, torture and agony.

SINS.

is all these just tests

that the so called "god"

sets to test us?

is everything im going through

now part of my punishment?

If it is..

when will my name be removed

from the book of sins?

MY FACE IS RUINED.

2007-07-15T22:58:00.000-07:00

yea yea.

i went back to drugs..

so?

i didnt really came outta it either?

i didnt really quit too..

got myself into ice recently..

and in a month's time..

my face is TERRIBLE..

my complexion is getting worse..

pimples, spots..

red dots all over my face!

arghh.

i will get outta this hole one day.

ONE DAY-

thailand trip

2007-06-28T10:01:00.000-07:00

im finally here..
in thailand!
haas.
in thailand where food
is EVERYWHERE!
with more than 3 meals a day
i've gained more than
a few harmless pounds!
went to pray at some temples..
done quite a bit of shopping..
gotten a dumb eyebrow piercing
at an ultra cheap rate
and a lip tattoo.
i even got a pet snake here
but its just too bad
that i can't bring it back to sg.
got to see my long lost blood..
and spent quality time with her.
=)
soon i'll be going back..
will be coming back in a few months' time.

enjoying every single moment. <3

dillemia

2007-06-14T06:56:00.000-07:00

fuck!

i ain't sure

what is going on..

i thought its all over

but it seems otherwise..

ARGHH!

i don't wanna care anymore..

but i can't seem to..

i thought i will be fine

and life's perfectly wonderful.

but why does it seems

like a piece of me has gone missing..

i just wanna be WHOLE again..

OH MY GOD!

2007-06-01T16:16:00.001-07:00

Just came back from Dragonfly

and as usual im so happy!

but..

today im.. EXTREMELY HAPPY!

SCORPION GAVE ME HIS NECKLACE!

he put it on for me too!!!!

aww~

speechless.. dumbstruck..

im a happy girl!

I LOVE WILLIAM SCORPION!!!

WOOHOO!

2007-05-31T15:49:00.000-07:00

Another happening night

at Dragonfly.

went there with peggy

and i got to talk

to my darling scorpion

and took alot of pictures

with him.

He even kept talking

to me on stage

and promised me to give me

his necklace

on my next visit!!

SHIOK-NESS~

Then i spotted lewis

ah kang and hugo too.

After they left,

ahboy, lostboy, niaoci+dasao

and nick came.

Me and peggy danced

and caught everyone's attention.

Even Ray was present

and it seems like he wants me

back by his side.

but too bad,

IM EVERYONE'S LOVER NOW.

haha.

LET'S ROCK THIS PARTY!!

UHH LAA LAA~

2007-05-30T17:12:00.000-07:00

What a B-E-A-U-T-I-F-U-L night!

stone and dogmeat

came to my workplace.

after stone leave

dogmeat wanna bring me to 97

but i don't want.

After work

we proceeded to Dragonfly

and join stone.

The climax of this night is..

SCORPION HUGGED ME!!!

aww~

Its feels so good to be alive.

haas.

Came home after Dragonfly

and i can't sleep because

i've been doing ice.

I guess lady luck is shining..

and..

her rays are hitting me

in my bullseye.

RAVE PARTY~

2007-05-24T12:18:00.000-07:00

woohoo!

just came back from a rave party

at PasirRis Aloha.

the junkies were there

and smoking weed when i arrived.

after smoking a few joints of weed

my ecstasies arrived too.

me and cass popped 1 each.

around 4+am the main dish came..

ICE.

we took a few puffs

through the ice machine.

we were high all the way till 9am

and we proceeded to james's place.

by then my mind was already

polluted by the effects of ice

and my eyes were stained with illusions.

it was a really fun and happening night.

now im back at home

the problem is coming..

i can't seem to sleep!

hours passing with numbers

sleepless night without slumber.

FINALLY! ANOTHER N73.

2007-05-14T10:51:00.000-07:00

i got it!

say uhh-lala!

LOL.

another N73-ME

thanks to my loving dad.

but with loads of terms and conditions

that i think is not fair.

well, who cares anyway?

im loving it~

new babies

2007-05-10T14:55:00.001-07:00

i've got great news to announce!

i've got 3 more new members

added to my gecko family.

mini = a 6.5cm hatchling

which is ultra adorable

and can already attack

a cricket.

lady/xiaobai = a pure albino female

which is so beautiful

except for the infection

on its tail and hyperactive.

beast/MR.BIG = a full-grown giant male

which is up to 9 inches

and is amazingly tamed and gentle.

of course not forgetting..

baby = chocolate albino trampler

which is in its teens.

stupid, paranoid and irritating.

but i love it still.

GECKO GECKO~

IM MUMMY GECKO!

i love all my babies.

farewell, bumblebeez

2007-04-30T21:35:00.001-07:00

after 3 washes

i finally rid my hair

off the smell of beer

poured straight on my head

through a giant heniken bottle.

just came back

from the farewell party at beez.

we had a crazy and wild night

and i simply hope it did not end.

we reached there at about 0930

and things were normal.

as usual i got my kiss

from my beloved ray

and i was a happy girl.

haha.

im just so crazy over him.

and by 11pm the crowd's rising.

i shared a pill with ben

and drank to my heart's content.

player danced with me!

we were hugging each other

and swaying to the music

on the dancefloor.

and.

we kissed.

at around 0130am

i took another pill

all on my own

and was shaking my head

to the booming music.

towards the end at around 0230am

everyone was using the beer buckets

the glasses and the jugs

the sprays from the bar

pratically anything

that can be used to splash water

onto everyone at the dancefloor!

everyone's wet,wild and crazy.

and i got it too..

all thanks to my baby ivan.

well, since i was wet

i took off my top.

and coincidentially..

the DJ was spinning "sexy back"

so i went up onto the pole and danced.

and my darling ray

just took a gigantic heniken bottle

that is even bigger

than the 1.5L coke bottle

and poured its contents

right onto my head.

and it made me feel like

a walking size heniken bottle

because i was smelling like beer.

OH MY!

what a wild night it was.

then...

POOF!

the night was gone.

i would surely miss bumblebeez.

those memories and laughter.

those obscene puking

and making a fool out of myself.

and..

without bumblebeez

i can't see my darling ray so often

anymore.

no more kisses to welcome me

no more hugs to console me.

UTOPIA

2007-04-18T16:07:00.000-07:00

hmms.

just came back from dragonfly.

my first day working at UTOPIA

and james came down to support.

after work we proceeded to dragonfly

and guess what?!

me, tan mei xuan.

took a picture with...

WILLIAM SCORPION!

uuh-lala~

i just LOVE him to the core!

although he's 55

but he seriously has the charm

to melt women..

especially ME!

aww~

i am the most fortunate person

on earth..

no no!

the whole universe!

I LOVE WILLIAM SCORPION!<3

and..

i'd pay a million bucks..

just to FUCK HIM!

i love SHUEN

2007-04-16T13:21:00.001-07:00

just reached home

after a wild partying night

with my baobei gege, SHUEN.

last night i saw him at 85

and we sat down

and had a few pints of tiger.

then we proceeded to boatquay

at around 4am.

gege opened a bottle of martell

in COLOURZONE

and we drank and chatted away

till 6am.

then while on our way back

gege saw CLUB RAV

and it was booming with R&B

and he wanted to go in.

to my surprise

the club actually closes at 9am!

we went in and gege

opened another bottle of chivas

and we boozed and boogied till 9am.

then gege brought me to inter

and open starhub line for me

because i lost my phone again.

he even wanna buy N73-ME

for me.

but i rejected because we spent

quite a sum of money already.

and we ate macdonald's breakfast

and i came back.

a million thanks to my GEGE

for making my night so wonderful.

gege, i love u so much.

ur meimei, since 1998<3

I GIVE UP

2007-04-06T18:12:00.000-07:00

i finally discovered..

what's between us is long gone.

those sweet nothings

those hugs and kisses

those laughter and smiles.

i've learnt to accept the fact

and face the reality

that we pratically have no future.

ZERO.

my dad keep nagging at me

and asked if i wanna marry a runaway.

and whenever he hears me

talking to rock

he would just fuck me

after i hang up.

people around me keeps

telling me that i have better choices

right in front of me

and the only reason why he's

keeping me is because

he's got nothing left.

as for myself..

i can't take the stress

of handling such a complicated matter.

all i can do everyday is wait

for a phone call

that lasted for what?

10minutes?

urghh`

after discovering that

im being unfaithful to him.

he can forgive me

i truely touched.

i used to have many reasons
to love him

countless reasons to hang on
but now i just can't find any.

but the road ahead of us

is so blur.

does that path actually exist?

i don't wanna know

the answer anymore.

it doesn't really matter anymore.

I SURRENDER,,

i just wnana be happy again.

all these stuffs are torturing me.

UNFAITHFUL,,

2007-04-01T12:34:00.000-07:00

i can't be the girlfriend

i thought i could be.

it just seems so hard

without you by my side.

im drifting away from u

further and further each day.

what's left is only memories

haunting me like nightmares.

i wanna go back to the past

when laughter fills the air.

oh! baby boy.

when shall we reunite?

baby, im so sorry

2007-03-28T08:28:00.000-07:00

to my special someone

i know that i've betrayed

your trust by doing all these.

but i can tell u

all these happened because

of my loneliness.

i can't be alone

i don't wanna think

about everything.

im just escaping reality

by mixing around

with different guys.

our future seems so bleak

so dark that i can't see anything.

its hard without anyone

by my side to tell me

everything's alright.

no hugs to ease my pain

no kisses to soothe my worries.

u might think

that im talking nonsense

but while fucking with them

i didn't kiss them

because i didn't love them.

i know its lame

but its really the fact.

i love the way

u always go crazy with me.

i love the way

u accept every single thing

i do.

i love the way

u never seem to mind

any of my extreme irritating

and disgusting bad habits.

i love the way

u always give in to me

without fail.

i love the way

u never despise anything

about me.

i love the way

u look when u introduce

me to ur friends.

the kind of proudness

u have on ur face.

i love the way

that i can totally be myself

when im with u.

i know i have no right

to continue being

the pampered spoilt brat

of urs.

but all i wanna tell u is..

NO ONE LOVES ME LIKE U DO,,

promiscuous

2007-03-27T02:55:00.000-07:00

i can't change myself at all..

im still the promiscous girl

that enjoys the attention

from the opposite sex.

i just love to attract guys

because i know they will

all come fluttering to be

like bees to honey.

i slept with lewis

despite the fact that he's 32

because i find him

irresistably HOT.

i met up with felix

and we had sex in his car

parked in the open roof level

of a multi-storey carpark.

i don't know what made me do

all these.

the only thing i derived from

being promiscuous is

self-esteem.

it makes me feel

needed and wanted.

it makes me feel so good

to be able to attract guys

that i simply can't stop.

i can say that i've tried

almost all types of guys already.

and im only 17.

imagine what life would be

once i hit 21.

PROMISCUOUS GIRL,,

like honey to bees.

FUCK

2007-03-18T00:47:00.000-07:00

arghh~

i lost my phone!

was enjoying my day

at boatquay yesterday

while at the end

of my night i discovered

that my phone is missing.

i don't know what happened

to my precious phone

but all i know is its filled

with fond memories

of me and rock.

hais`

even all my important contacts

were missing too.

it just irritates me so much!

now, i feel like i lost

part of me with the phone too.

oh! bring back.

bring back my phone to me~

honey honey

2007-03-17T05:16:00.000-07:00

was at bumblebee

last night with peggy.

after drinking a couple

of tequila shots

few glasses of vodka bull

and jars of ribena vodka.

we were shaking our assets

off our body on the dancefloor.

and the crowd of desperate guys

just came closer and closer.

like what bouncer jerry says..

guys are attracted to me

like bees to honey.

well..

its just that every guy

loves a bitch who can

dance like nobody's business.

im beginning to discover that

guys are really a bunch

of animals who thinks

with their groins.

went to chilli

with jerry after that

and it was the same situation.

me being sandwiched

by a bunch of guys

trying to dry hump me.

its a good thing

that the bouncers were

such nice people

trying to stop those freaks

from touching me.

they were arguing

with each other

that im their girlfriend.

and someone just blurted out:

she's everyone's girlfriend!

haas`

one of the bouncers

even volunteered to escort

me to take a cab home.

my new friends are nice people.

honey honey honey~

runaway

2007-03-14T05:56:00.000-07:00

we were at geographer

last night and i got

myself freaking drunk

till i was screaming and crying.

i lost control.

he hugged me and cried too.

we are true to each other

but why can't we

be together?!

when we woke up

finally..

the day when i have

to bid my love goodbye

came.

he packed his stuffs

and took a cab

to the customs.

he called and told me

he reached M'sia

already and is safe.

please let my boy be safe.

AGONY

2007-03-12T01:24:00.000-07:00

the pain in my abdomen

is torturing me!

fuck.

im bleeding for 12days

and it doesn't even

seems to be stopping.

it got worse after

i drank alcohol last night.

arghh!

meaning of life

2007-03-04T23:09:00.000-08:00

after so long

of searching for

the meaning of life.

i discovered that

there's no definite

meaning of life.

life is all about

getting fucked right

in the ass always.

and there's nothing your can

do about it but pull

down your undies

and waiting to get fucked

whenever fate gets

too horny and decides to fuck

your ass again.

no amount of KY jelly

nor vaseline can help

to ease the pain.

things haven't been

going smoothly for me.

fate always gets me

and i mean ALWAYS.

well...

nothing much i can do

but to pull up my undies

everytime i get fucked

right in that ass

and act like nothing has

happened.

pretending that everything's

alright.

acting like its not

bothering me.

and smiling like

nothing's wrong.

can fate stop fooling me?

fuck everything.

i just want a simple life.

shattered`

2007-03-02T19:33:00.000-08:00

well..

i knew it was a dream

from the beginning.

its only that im waking up

from a beautiful dream.

why the FUCK is it

hurting so freaking much?

LOL.

stupid fuck.

fate fooled me once again.

LOVE,,

only ends in the bitterness

of tears.

night prawning trip

2007-03-02T13:10:00.000-08:00

went prawning last night

at pasir ris

with my family and boy.

so blessed.

i got a damn big prawn

while my boy

got a miserably tiny one.

haas`

enjoyed ourselves alot

and came back at 3+ am

and slept till now.

oh god!

if you are fooling me

once again.

please~

i never wanna wake up

from this fantasy.

KK visit

2007-03-01T18:15:00.000-08:00

FUCK.

within 1 week..

i actually had 2 different

persons looking at me

right below!

went to KK last night

because im bleeding too much.

and.

to make things worse.

IT WAS A MALE DOCTOR!

arghh~

and again.

being poked by wierd things.

>.<

after that my baby boy

came to accompany me.

slept early and woke up

in the afternoon.

ate mummy's cooking today

and watched dvd

while munching on junks.

fat fat fat!

life is so beautiful`

how i wished

it would just stay this way.

till ETERNITY-

gynae visit

2007-02-27T05:03:00.000-08:00

imagine..

just imagine..

being fucked by some

wierd metal tools.

and being scraped by

some needle-like thing.

and fingered by a WOMAN!

i almost fainted on the spot.

that is so so URGHH!

it was a good thing

that my precious boy

was already waiting

for me once i stepped out

of that room.

where i was...

demoralised and humilated.

we went to ECP for dinner

with my folks.

aww~

sweet sweet sweet!

pampered, loved, contented.

IM A HAPPY GIRL

2007-02-21T22:33:00.000-08:00

been busy enjoying my time
with him these few days.
after he's back
things really seems brighter.
spending as much time
together as we can.
treasuring every moment
we shared.

finally..

im able to sleep

in his arms once again.

im able to eat with him.

im able to be around him.

im able to kiss him.

im able to hug him.

im able to hold his hands.

the feeling of bliss

makes me the happiest girl

on earth.

OH GOD!

please let my happiness stay.

hopefully, FOREVER.

HE'S BACK

2007-02-16T06:50:00.000-08:00

finally..

he's back by my side

after a tormenting 21 days.

br0ken`

2007-02-14T21:05:00.000-08:00

we lost it all.

everything was shattered

in just one day.

i had enough

of all those nonsenses.

i told dad everything

i hate mum

i fought with her.

things are just so fucked up

that im really losing control.

i did my best

but i can't be perfect`

END OF PROBATION

2007-02-08T07:02:00.000-08:00

FINALLY!

after so much sufferings

and restrictions..

IM FREE!~

haas`

well.

maybe life will get better

from now on?

my boy's coming out

on the 15th.

life does seems better

and hopefully..

it does gets better.

brand new me`

Out Of Control

2007-02-02T19:23:00.000-08:00

sighs.

everything

seems to be in a mess.

my life seems to be

beyond my control.

things ain't the way

i want them to be.

and everyday

it gets from bad to worse.

im sick of enduring all these

im strong.

but all these things are

making me weak and helpless.

i can no longer smile

like how i used to in the past.

i can no longer lead the life

that has no worries or fear.

now...

im just waiting.

waiting for an end

to all these sufferings.

waiting for fate

to fool me once again.

waiting for death

to grab me by my neck.

darkness is my paradise.

shattered`

2007-01-27T09:09:00.000-08:00

i woke up in the morning

and u're not by my side.

its hard for me

to admit that u're gone.

everything was so sudden

that i can't believe

its all real.

i thought maybe

i just wasn't used to

not having u by my side.

but everywhere i went

i kept thinking of u.

thoughts of u and me

are haunting me.

i cried , i sobbed.

i screamed , i shouted.

but its all of no use.

i wanted u by my side

so badly..

that im breaking into tears.

u're special to me

not like any other guys.

i will be waiting

for ur return.

this time i know its for real.

TRUELY,MADLY,DEEPLY-

misses*

2007-01-26T20:56:00.000-08:00

dedications to MY BOY,,

boy.

u have no idea

how much am i missing u.

im totally freaked out

totally lost.

life without u seems so..

meaningless.

i miss u so badly

so much that im amazed.

i miss the way

u always pat me to sleep.

i miss being awaken

by ur kiss.

i miss the way

u always mess up my hair

like im ur silly girl.

i miss the way

u always make me laugh.

i miss ur bear hugs.

i miss those kisses

on my forehead.

i miss those sweet words

u always whisper

into my ears.

i miss the way

u always hold my hands.

i miss the way

u always smell my hair.

i miss eating like a pig

with u.

i miss the way

u always feed me.

i miss the way

u always bully me.

i miss the way u pamper

me in ur own special ways.

i miss ur voice.

i miss ur presence.

without u

i just feel so EMPTY.

come back to me, will u?

pr0miscuous

2007-01-20T22:25:00.000-08:00

hmms.

went to a ktv at K.bahru

last night.

told xb to give up on me.

afterall..

i guess,

im destined to be a lover.

or perhaps a fling?

a 3rd party?

never a girlfriend.

i can attract guys

just like honey to bees.

but,

i can't seem to be THE ONE.

or is it me?

whose stone heart is frozen

since 25-12-2005.

im promiscuous.

i flirt.

i sleep with guys.

but,

i seem unable to LOVE.

not anymore.

is there anyone..

who can melt my frozen heart?

sorrowful 17`

2007-01-10T08:01:00.000-08:00

im officially 17

but i feel so..

sick of living.

urghh`

im not satisfied with my life

not contented with what i have

not happy with myself.

hais ~

is it a pre-18 symptom

or is it a post-17 depression?

i feel WIERD`

havoc night-

2007-01-07T18:25:00.000-08:00

woke up feeling great!

had a havoc partying night

with my darling and his friends

partying till dawn.

started at boatquay's royal pub

till ard 3

and went to 97 in orchard plaza.

it was a damn happening night

with music , booze and dance.

after all the drinking anf dancing

fun and laughters

i feel all alive again.

this is what i enjoy.

this is what i do.

this is my life.

this is me.

i just wanna smile like the past`

new year 2007

2007-01-01T04:26:00.000-08:00

well..

what have i done i 2006?

in gracehaven for 10 months.

pratically wasting my youth away

because i broke the stupid law.

urghh`

spent 1 month having the fun

i have missed out.

clubbing,drinking,rounding.

-im the creature of the night-

and now?

school's starting.

WTF!

though life's good and stable now

but i swear i miss my past.

the drugs and booze

the fun and laughter

the partying and all.

the days ..

when i can just have fun

with no worries or fears.

now?

everything's changed.

i can no longer

be the immatured girl

that doesn't think

about consequences

of everything she does.

im no longer the fearless girl

that everyone admired.

im just living a dead life

like a zombie.

i don't feel ME anymore.

but what can i do?

zai's birthday party

2006-12-28T16:10:00.000-08:00

i woke up

with a splitting headache

and a terrible hangover

from last night's party.

went to BARCODE

at boatquay

with shine and kimo.

zai and other BSB-ians

were there celebrating

zai's birthday.

gave zai a bear hug

and a birthday kiss

upon his cheeks.

kimo and i grabbed a drink

and sat down to slack.

after non-stop drinking

for 3 hours

all of us were already

intoxicated and drunk.

had lots of fun fooling around

kissed zai and kimo on the lips.

hurhur`

clarence sat beside me

and he was drunk.

i gave his a massage

but he said that it made

him more drunk.

out of a sudden

he hugged and kissed me.

i was too drunk to move

but i did try to stop him

after the pub lights on

we all went back home

and straight into dreamland.

enjoyed the night alot`

yo ar yo ~

b0ring christmas`

2006-12-24T12:29:00.000-08:00

hais.

i hate christmas2006.

it was so boring !

because i had probation

i can't countdown in orchard.

went to orchard in the afternoon

with justina and shine

PLUS,

her lil sister..

who is so cute yet irritating.

she made me look

an underage mum or something.

met crystal too

its been ages since we last met.

went to cineleisure

and saw loads of people.

bsb brother( sebas , boon chao..)

shaiji selling foam sprays

my baobei erzi and lil brothers

peijun and even xiaodi.

but the most saddening thing..

i can't countdown with them

all because of a stupid probation.

sighs`

saw my darling ..

but we quarrelled

because i wore a damn exposing top.

WTF!

i hate ~~christ~~mas 2006 !

TMX's a old hag

2006-12-01T13:23:00.000-08:00

oh my fucking jesus !

can u believe it ?

im only a mere 16

but

i feel like im 60.

----------------------------------

ecstacies

were such colourful pills.

pop it !

flying high.

ketamine

were such awesome powder.

smack it !

feel like everything's right.

subutex

were such great inventions.

jab it !

relieves all the sores and pain.

weed

most useful plant on earth.

smoke it !

laughter fills the air.

ice

were as precious as diamonds.

inhale it !

get a glimpse of paradise.

---------------------------------

who would have thought that

all the CNB's anti-drugs talk.

drugs harms , drugs kills

drugs damages body organs

lalala~

would be so fucking true?!

didn't really notice it

but now..

i think i can feel it.

backaches , muscle cramps

stiff joints , poor blood flow

maybe..

a little liver damage

and a little kidney failure.

drugs kill , but who really cares?`

sunshine after rain

2006-11-25T09:06:00.000-08:00

Hmms.

shopped at bugis with SHINE

and bought a lot of clothes.

was actually enjoying the day

but guess what ?

i saw the JERK.

i have no idea

why my heart still aches.

i have no idea

why my tears still flow.

ain't i happy now ?

i already found the one

who gave me the happiness

i never thought i would have.

i finally found the reason

for me to smile.

then why the fcuk

is my bloody heart still aching ?!

im already trying my best to heal

but the wound is still sore.

guilt surrounds me`

REALITY always hurts

2006-11-21T06:18:00.000-08:00

well..

as usual.

the harsh truth always hurts.

after some drinking

my parents finally spoke

from the bottom of their hearts.

words that were left unsaid

for the past few years

came bursting out.

blaming each other

and hurting each other.

it hurts me to see this

so i'd rather drink.

my boy came up to drink with me

and i drank 1/2 bottle of JD's.

and went back to fetch xiaobai

at boatquay.

they were slacking at 136

and i joined them.

drank another 2 bottles of beer

slacked and came back.

why can't the world be simpler?`

d0uble date

2006-11-20T20:36:00.000-08:00

hmms.

a beautiful day

with 2 odd couples

and a lonely xiaobai.

went to tampines

with shiya & xiaoben.

ate seoul garden

and finally my dream came true.

i made my own ice-kachang.

hiaks`

went to take neoprints

without make up

and looked so ugly.

hurmphx`

im all about artificial beauty.

who cares ?

came back to 85 for dinner

and came home.

thanks to MR.NG ZHI YUAN

for giving me the happiness

i never thought i would have.

i love my simple life`

dim sum trip

2006-11-19T05:58:00.000-08:00

went for a dim sum trip

at changi with my boy.

haas`

it just seems so sweet

and i hope it lasts.

people are amazed

how i finally got attached.

and all i told them

was the lorry story.

kekes`

it might be stupid

but its true.

i just love the way

he pampers me.

finally i can find someone

that ..

special someone.

who can tolerate my nonsenses

and be there when i need him.

i love MR.NG ZHI YUAN`

START

2006-11-18T02:18:00.000-08:00

18.11.2006

the start

of a new relationship.

after 1 year

i guess i finally found

THE ONE.

NG ZHI YUAN.

the one..

whom touched my broken soul.

the one..

whom melted my frozen heart.

the one..

whom made me believe LOVE.

the one..

whom actions are louder than words.

its been a long time

since i felt loved.

its been a long time

since i wanna love again.

i might not be able

to love him the right way.

but i will try my best

and do whatever i can

to love.

the beginning of a new story`

family dinner

2006-11-17T02:51:00.000-08:00

just came back

from dinner at 511.

grandma came to singapore

but its a pity grandpa

didn't come.

missed him so much

haiis`

if i didn't break the law

i would have

been able to visit him now.

its been a long time

since i had dinner

with family other than

my folks.

its a warm and blissful feeling.

blessed`

supper

2006-11-16T02:18:00.000-08:00

just came back

from a simpang supper trip

with xiaoboy and xiaobai.

rode their friend's pickup

and almost had an accident.

their friend started the car

before i jumped down.

he dashed forward

and caught hold of me

just like an action movie.

touched`

one word i could

use to describe his expression.

PANIC

actions really speaks

louder than words.

and it kinda touched me

and went deep into my heart.

words to..

NG ZHI YUAN<3

truely,

u touched my soul

like no one else.

i think im falling.

decisi0n

2006-11-15T10:57:00.000-08:00

i have a huge decision to make

once and for all.

dark path or bright path?

bright path

give up everything

that i have in the dark world.

start live anew.

-TOTALLY-

leaving the past behind

and

never lose my freedom.

dark path

continue life from the past

move on and never look back.

rot away with hesistating

act with thinking furthur

putting my freedom at risk.

im torn inbetween`

steamb0at

2006-11-12T07:59:00.000-08:00

went for a steamboat trip

at marina with jason.

ate TONS & TONS of food

oily , fattening

but yet delicious.

KEKES`

went to play pool

after we ate and came back.

movies

2006-11-11T09:08:00.000-08:00

went to the movies

at TM with justina.

saw AIM on the way back

how i missed his humour.

came back home

uncle john gave me a gift.

JACK DANIEL'S

ain't life lovely or what?

the power of LV

2006-11-10T04:14:00.000-08:00

went to orchard

with alvin.

toting my LV handbag

and ultra mini skirt

im a head-turner.

ahhas~

bought alot of things

and took neoprints.

though the day is short

but i enjoyed it alot.

MCYS reporting

2006-11-08T09:00:00.000-08:00

HMMS.

went for MCYS reporting

in the afternoon.

talked to my PO

and she's concerned about

my future plans.

im hesitating if i should

quit school and focus on a skill

or should i at least get a N-level.

enjoying my days

like i've never done before.

im contented with what i have

ROCK

2006-11-05T07:12:00.000-08:00

went to this ktv pub

at havelock road.

ROCK

xiaoboy and xiaobai

were drinking there.

enjoyed myself alot

as we drank and crapped

through the night.

its been a long time

since i've enjoyed my nightlife.

can't wait for my probation

to be over

i'll be partying every night.

after lights on

both xiaoboy and xiaobai

were drunk already.

went to gelang to eat 126

shiok~

after that their friend , Raymond

sends us back home.

nightlife ; makes me feel alive.

ORCHARD+VIVO CITY

2006-11-04T07:50:00.000-08:00

went to orchard

with SHINE.

meet casan at cineleisure

and saw alvin too.

we went for a pool session

at Kpool and saw Jim.

after our pool session

xiaoboy came to fetch me

and we went to VIVO CITY.

met xiaobai and walked around

there's a HUGE store

filled with loads of candies

and chocolates.

SLURPPS!~

went to xiaobai's house

and i came back home.

might be going out later

but must see the situation first.

=))

Leading a happy life

2006-11-03T07:27:00.000-08:00

LALALA~

after discharging from hostel.

even the first thought

that comes into my mind

when i wake up is different.

waking up and knowing that

i don't need to go back

to that dreadful place

is a blessing.

went for lunch at 123

with xiaoboy and sylvester.

ate a whole duck i think ?

LOL.

LIFE'S GOOD!

came back home

and began packing my room.

its such a chore !

met irene in the evening

for a dessert session

and catch up old times.

we still can click

but the feeling's kinda different.

enjoying every second of my new life.

FREEDOM ; AT LAST !

2006-11-02T02:55:00.000-08:00

Finally ..

the day i've awaited so long.

IS HERE !

IM FREE , at last.

went to hougang

and got a skull tattoo

done by kelvin.

although it looks kinda wierd

but it doesn't matter.

its been a long time

since i felt needles all over.

one word to describe my feeling..

ecstatic.

hiaks~

after getting my tattoo done

i rushed to GH.

and signed that freaking paper

dropped a few tears

really can't bear to leave.

10 months of sorrows & joy

tears & laughter.

MEMORIES ARE ETERNAL.

TM

2006-11-01T04:57:00.000-08:00

met xiaoboy at 85.

my pu bor kia.

hiaks~

accompanied him to TM

signed the M1 contract.

Nokia 6280 = $0.

walked around TM

and came back le.

tomorrow's my BIG day.

signing my letter of freedom.

can't wait to get my hands

on that piece of golden paper

and sign my name on it.

REVIVAL OF THE DEAD

2006-10-31T18:01:00.000-08:00

TOMORROW.

the dead shall revive

through the potion of liberty.

all these while

its hard being dead.

yet i enjoyed the company

of my dead ones.

03012006-02112006

cravings

2006-10-31T01:18:00.000-08:00

im craving for dope.

GET HIGH AND DIE.

KK Hospital Trip

2006-10-30T06:34:00.000-08:00

Well.

accompanied shine to KK

check if she has been infected.

luckily..

its just warts.

she was so blur

that i have to fill the forms

and queue up for her.

and judging by our looks

people think that

its me that needs a gynae.

zhiyuan joined us too.

and worse.

people gave us wierd looks

assuming that we are those

young couples

who are having babies.

we just acted like we were.

whole day was acting like

i've got a baby and he's the dad.

LOL.

proceeded to golden mile

after that and ate curry puffs.

yummy~

sent shine back to GH after that.

zhiyuan sent me back to bedok.

He's just so gentlemanly.

New Life , New Start

2006-10-28T11:35:00.000-07:00

hmms.

started this new blog

because my previous one

is full with entries.

starting this new blog

is the beginning of a new chapter

of my life.

Im gonna start life anew.